“With respect, great one,” said Jakeor. “The new design is so much more menacing than the old ones.” I considered both designs for a moment.
“What sort of tests have you put the new one through?” I asked.
“Well, they’re bulletproof,” Jakeor said, “and...uh...the neck guard provides support for their head if something crashes down on them, like a rock. Within reason, of course! The visor is large enough to keep their vision completely unobstructed.” I slipped one over my own head and snorted.
“Have you tried one on?” I asked, removing the inferior model.
“Well, no, Majesty,” he said.
“Put it on,” I ordered. He nodded and obeyed as I gestured for the window shades to be drawn. A signal from me had one guard moving in to attack.
“Majesty?” cried Jakeor as a punch hit him in the stomach. “Stop! What is...” My man efficiently beat him, raining blows on his head and arms as he curled into a ball to protect his organs.
“What’s wrong with this helmet?” I asked.
“Majesty?” he asked, gasping for air. I viciously kicked him twice.
“Did you see that coming?” I taunted.
“No, your Imperial Majesty,” he replied, wheezing.
“And why was that?” I asked dryly.
“It’s too dark for me to see,” he said. “The visors are too black!”
“Very good,” I said. “Don’t bother me again until you come up with a decent helmet.” I kicked him once more for good measure and swept out, leaving him to cower on the floor.
