8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

      “Wait, what?” said Prince Javen in shock. His hands were cuffed in front of him, but that wasn’t really necessary. There were enough soldiers around to keep him from doing anything rash.

      “Please follow me, your Highness,” Sheldon, the chief steward, said patiently. “The Empress does not like to wait.” He’d been a spy for many years, and knew well the whims of his mistress.

      “You can’t be serious,” said the prince, glaring at the traitor who had helped the Empress secretly invade the palace with her warriors.

      “I never joke,” replied the servant. “Come.” He bowed a little, and the prince began to walk helplessly forward, his armed escort following close behind. They took him to a small antechamber and removed his chains, and he was handed a sky-blue suit with white trim and golden embroidery.

      “There’s gotta be some mistake!” protested Javen. “She can’t actually mean this.” He crossed his arms. A guard stepped forward menacingly, but Sheldon held up a hand and waited.

      “Your Highness, please,” said the servant. “Don’t begin to fuss now.” Javen eyed the drawn sword cautiously for a moment, then sighed.

      “The Empress would like to avoid unnecessary bloodshed,” said Sheldon as the captive hesitantly began to unbutton his shirt. “But if her hand is forced, she will give the order and the slaughter will begin. They have no idea she’s here; they’d be completely unprepared. You’re saving your people.”

      “I know,” said the prince reluctantly as he finished dressing by fastening the jacket. Sheldon approached with the shackles, but the prince pulled away.

      “I’m doing what she wants,” he pleaded. “Please Sheldon! Don’t make me wear those. I’m not going to cause any trouble.”

      “I dare not disobey my orders,” said Sheldon pityingly. “You’ll need to ask the Empress. I have no choice.” He snapped the chains around Javen’s wrists and led the prince out into the council chamber.

      It was a small room, but there weren’t very many people inside, so his footsteps echoed as he approached the group of people who stood, waiting for him. The soldiers lined up along the walls as Sheldon bowed low to Empress Adrienna. Prince Javen stared curiously. She was taller than he expected, about his height if you ignored her elaborate headdress, and he was willing to bet that she wasn’t wearing tall shoes. She was beautiful, he noted, surprisingly so for someone who was systematically conquering the neighboring kingdoms. Her dress was made of the traditional sky-blue silk, and the diamond that sat on her chest was larger than any he’d ever seen.

      “You make a beautiful couple, Empress,” said Sheldon as she walked forward.

      “He’ll do,” she said lightly, slipping her arm through Javen’s chained ones and giving him a slight smile of approval. “Bring in the king and queen.”

      “No, wait, please!” said the prince quickly, extending his wrists. “Please, your Majesty. Don’t allow them see me like this. I swear to you, I’ll cooperate, I’ll do everything you ask!” The empress held up a hand, and Sheldon instantly stopped the guard while she pondered for a moment. “Please let me pretend to be happy about this,” the prince begged.

      “Do I have your promise that you’ll cooperate with me?” she asked.

      “My word of honor,” he said sincerely. The Empress nodded once. Sheldon held out the key, and she removed the shackles, passing them back to the servant. For an instant, Javen considered attacking her. His belt concealed a small knife; she was turned away. They stood apart from everyone--he had plenty of time to overpower this invader and save himself and his kingdom. But he’d given her his word. The moment passed; the guard returned with his parents. Javen took a deep breath to steady his nerves, accepting his fate, as his mother hurried towards them.

      “Son!” said the older woman. She was frail and white-faced in the presence of so many enemy soldiers, and she clung tightly to her husband. Javen leaned forward and kissed his mother on the forehead. “I’m so glad you’re alright!”

      “Everything’s wonderful,” he said, kissing the Empress’ hand. “Isn’t she spectacular, mother?” Adrienna smiled, her eyes shrewdly watching every move he made. “I can’t believe I’m getting married! This is fantastic.”

      “This alliance was a good idea, father,” Javen continued. “I just wish you’d warned me about it, instead of having Sheldon tell me at the last moment! Then again, Adrienna told me that she’d insisted upon it being a surprise, and I can’t blame you for letting my bride have her way.” He grinned at them widely, and the king swallowed, meeting Adrienna’s eyes. She smiled beatifically at the old man. “I’m so excited!”

      “We...just want you to be happy, son,” he said anxiously, refusing to disillusion his son.

      “And I am,” said the prince. “Thank you!” He let go of Adrienna to embrace his parents quickly, then returned to her side, offering her his arm.

      “If we may begin, your majesties,” said the castle archpriest, eyeing the soldiers who stood at attention beside him. The king and queen seated themselves as Adrienna and Javen knelt before an altar that had been set up temporarily. As the man began the wedding rituals, chanting in his ancient language, the empress looked up at him.

      “They don’t actually believe you, do they?” she asked quietly.

      “My parents are very old and feeble, your Imperial Majesty,” said Javen in reply, not quite meeting her gaze. “Knowing that I was married against my will might very well kill them. I know my duty to my people, and I will fulfill it to the best of my ability. They want to think that I don’t know of the danger, that I’m blissfully naive, and I helped them believe that. Please forgive what I did, Empress, but they’re my parents. I had to!”

      “I played along, didn’t I?” whispered Adrienna.

      “Thank you,” he said fervently, kissing her hand again.

      “You know, this doesn’t have to just be a marriage in name,” said Adrienna after a moment, her voice deceptively casual.

      “What?” said the prince in surprise, still remembering to keep his voice down. “Sheldon said that...”

      “That is originally what I’d intended,” Adrienna interrupted. “But Javen, consider what I’m offering.”

      “What are you offering?”

      “The title of Lord Consort to the Empress, and all of the duties, responsibilities, and powers that it provides,” she said. “You would be one of my chief advisers. Your authority could only be overruled by my own, or by a majority vote of the chief advisers.” Adrienna paused, then played her trump card. “You would have authority over your parents.”

      “What do you mean?”

      “They’re going to abdicate in favor of joining your kingdom with mine,” she said. “After that, I had intended that they would be taken to live in my palace for the rest of their lives.”

      “Your prisoners,” said Javen with a lump in his throat.

      “Let’s say permanent guests,” corrected Adrienna. “They’d be a threat to my authority, and if I just let them live their lives free of supervision, they might be used as a rallying point for my enemies.”

      “Please, they’re old,” whispered Javen, his mouth suddenly too dry to say more. He helped her to her feet as the archpriest gestured for them to stand.

      “I’m offering for you to be in charge of them,” Adrienna said quietly. “You would essentially rule your kingdom, and they would live out their lives in comfort and luxury, just as if I had never come here.”

      “Why? Why are you offering this to me?” he breathed as the archpriest waved his bowl of lit incense in the air.

      “Because you’ve got the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen,” Adrienna said lightly, “and because I know that you have a dagger hidden in your belt buckle, and you haven’t used it.” Javen paled.

     “I recognized it when Sheldon brought you in,” she said. “I gave you every opportunity to attack me--I removed your chains and stood beside you. My guards were far away, but you never even tensed.”

      “I gave you my word that I would cooperate,” he said quietly, suddenly very glad that he'd kept his promise.

      “That wouldn’t have stopped anybody else,” Adrienna said, bending her head as the priest laid a golden rope over her and Javen’s shoulders.

      “Well, I keep my word,” he said affrontedly.

      “I see that,” she said. “So do I.”

      “I have power,” continued the Empress. “You could make the changes that you’ve always wanted to make. You can help the people you’ve always pitied. You’re well-known for your charity and compassion. I’m known for my efficiency and my ruthlessness. You would balance me.” They were getting to the end of the ceremony. It was time to exchange vows, and with the sacred golden rope touching them, only the truth could be spoken. As the spouse with the highest rank, she spoke first.

      “Do you swear to forever stand beside me as my loyal husband, honest advisor, and faithful consort?” Adrienna watched him.

      “I do,” he said, nodding decisively. “Do you swear that you have spoken the truth, and that you will keep your promises to me?”

      “I do,” she said.

      “You may now exchange rings,” said the archpriest. Adrienna blinked for a moment, looking peeved. It was an expression that was out of place on her face, and from the way her gaze flickered to his hands, Javen realized that she’d forgotten that minor part of the ceremony. She glanced at his signet ring, but dismissed it out of hand. It was a famous relic of the kingdom, only worn by the heir to the throne. Quickly, before she could disrupt the ceremony and potentially go back on her promises to him, Javen drew the ring off of his pinky finger and placed it on Adrienna’s ring finger, noting that her hands were thankfully almost as large as his and bore the calluses that came from hours and hours of combat training.

      “I will be your husband,” he said sincerely, holding her fingers for a moment. She stared at the ring, recognizing the sacrifice he had just made. A wedding that was officiated under a golden rope by the archpriest was sealed by the gods, and it bound the two souls together; when one died, the other soon followed. The wedding rings could never be removed. He was giving up something priceless. Adrienna removed an enormous sapphire ring from her right hand and slid it onto his ring finger.

      “And I will be your wife,” she said with a thankful, slightly embarrassed smile, clearly hoping he would see that her gratitude was genuine.

      “You may now kiss the bride,” said the archpriest, looking at the couple uncomfortably. The Empress wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck as he kissed her tenderly, trying to sell the facade to his parents. The light that emanated from the golden rope blinded everyone for a moment, so nobody saw how Adrienna blushed as they pulled apart or how his ears were red.

      There was public outcry when Javen announced that he’d married Empress Adrienna and was going to join the countries together. However, he immediately declared two weeks of feasting and celebration, presided over by his father, the king and queen, culminating in their abdication. Adrienna summoned performers and entertainers from her kingdom and paid for a large portion of the events. She and her consort began spending large amounts of time walking through the booths, arm in arm, pretending to be in love and getting to truly know each other.

      Javen was pleasantly surprised to note that his new wife had a dry, intelligent sense of humor that made it easy to laugh and smile sincerely. She was a little uncomfortable being around the common folk, but he knew that he made her seem much less threatening than she typically was. He wasn’t sure how much she liked that. As they discussed policies and laws, he could tell that she tried very hard to be a fair ruler, and while she did have the occasional cruel tendency, she really believed that her choices would improve the lives of those she ruled.

      The kingdom was assimilated into her empire with almost no bloodshed. Her husband, Lord Javen, ruled at her side, and it was said that he was only one the Empress ever truly loved. Together, they conquered the rest of the continent and united it in an empire that would last three thousand years.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

      “You’ll never get away with this!” said Kyler furiously as the guards forced him to his knees before me. I hit him.

      “Shut up,” I said, carefully slotting a silver bullet into an empty chamber. I snapped the cylinder back into my revolver with a click, then cocked the gun with a deliberate movement that had him licking his lips nervously.

      “Look, before you kill me,” he said quickly, clearly stalling for time, “will you at least tell me what this is all about?”

      I fired.

      “No,” I said, as his body fell to the floor, an expression of surprise on his face.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

      When I was a child, I watched my father die. He was king, and the guards had just captured a lord who’d sworn to kill him. I loved my father, but I knew, even then, that his greatest flaw was arrogance. He had the man brought in chains to the town square, where he was to be publicly executed. I wasn’t supposed to be watching, but since I really wanted to observe the execution, I’d stolen my brother’s spyglass and ridden to town. I knew better than to let my father catch me; instead, I went in the back door of the city hall and climbed to the observation deck on the sixth floor, where I could see everything.

      It happened when the prisoner was finally brought forward and chained to Execution Stone. With my spyglass, I saw a traitorous guard drop a key into the lord’s hand. Nobody saw but me. My father certainly didn’t! He was too busy giving a gloating speech, telling everyone about how he was better and stronger than the weakling that was chained behind him. When the prisoner managed to unlock one hand, I knew it was serious. He patted the back of his belt, and I saw the imprint of a dagger beneath his shirt.

      I desperately tried to break open the window to scream a warning, but I was only eight. I couldn’t muster enough strength to smash the thick, double-paned glass, although I did manage to shatter the spyglass in my efforts. Frantically, I ran down the stairs, figuring that if I ran fast enough, I could get out to warn my father before he was killed.

      I came sprinting out of the door as my father was just finishing. A talented public speaker, he’d managed to capture and hold everyone’s attention, so the would-be assassin had been able to free himself, although he still crouched with the chains around him. I shoved and pushed through the crowd. People made room for me when they realized from my crown and richly-embroidered clothes that I was the reclusive princess. I was fifteen feet away when one of my father’s advisers grabbed my arm and held me back.

      “Let go of me! Father!” I shrieked, jerking free and dashing towards the prisoner and my father. The king bent forward to whisper something that was no doubt insulting, and at the same moment, the lord leapt to his feet, slashing with the dagger. My father was caught unaware, and his throat was cut. He choked a little, falling to his knees and dropping his sword. Nobody was close enough to do anything but stare. With the desperation of a child who’d just watched her father be attacked, I ran to him, not even considering that I might be in any danger.

      “Adrienna...” said my father, clutching at his throat.

      “Fetch a doctor!” I screamed, sobbing. Guards had rushed forward to seize the king’s murderer, but I could see that everything was too late. The bleeding had already begun to slow, and soon my frantic hands could no longer find a pulse.

      “The king is dead,” said the advisor who’d stopped me earlier. Tears streaming down my face, I turned to look at him from where I knelt in my father’s blood.

      “You’re the reason he’s dead!” I shouted, and the captain of the guard, who had just come over to retrieve me, stopped. “I would’ve reached him in time if you hadn’t stopped me! You killed him! I hate you!” I snatched up the brass spyglass and hit him in the groin with all of my fury, bringing him to his knees. I got in two more blows to his face before strong hands gently grabbed my small ones. It was the captain of the guard. He underestimated my rage, though. I smashed his nose and went back to battering the advisor, who protected his head, knowing better than to try to strike me back. When the captain finally recovered enough to snatch the spyglass away from me, I’d broken the man’s nose and cheekbones and severely bruised his face.

      “Your highness,” said the captain, not angry with me. I was only a child, after all. “Come with me.”

      “He killed the king,” I said haltingly through my tears. The captain scooped me up, and I wrapped my arms around him. We walked away from the bruised advisor, but passed the lord, who’d been re-chained and was currently being beaten.

      “Wait!” I said. They paused for a moment, since I was the princess. The lord looked up at me through rapidly-swelling eyes, but couldn’t hold my gaze for very long. It was one thing to kill the king, and an entirely different one to kill the father of a little girl. “I want to watch him die.” The captain paused for only a moment. 

      I was a different person, an older person, when I returned to the castle.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

      “I can’t believe we made it,” Josh said, wincing as his girlfriend smeared a thick burn salve on his arm before bandaging it.

      “You should’ve been more careful!” she scolded, still focused on the injury.  “That dragon could’ve fried you!”>

      “But it didn’t,” he said. “And I had to distract it so that you could shoot it, didn’t I?"

      “Shut up,” complained Jake.  “Let’s just get the amulet and destroy the damn thing so that the empress will die and we can go home.”

      Quickly, the trio hurried over to the tunnel that led deep into the mountain.  Shera drew out her dagger and recited the spell that caused its jeweled hilt to shine brightly, then led them into the unknown path.  Slipping slightly over the loose rock and shale, she almost didn’t see the tiny chest secreted in a crack of the cave.

      “What’s that?” asked Shera, grabbing the note that lay inside the box.  She held up the light.

      Nice try , said the note.  It was signed, Empress Adrienna.

      “You mean it’s not here?” said Jake, throwing it to the ground in frustration.  “Damn it!”

      “Look out!” screamed Shera.  But there was nothing they could do.  A rush of water was already cascading through the tunnel, sweeping them along and bashing them against rocks until it suddenly emptied into the river of fire with an enormous hiss of steam.  Once the tunnel was clear, a gnome opened a hidden door in the cave and placed another rotten wooden box in the crevice.

      “That’s 2 this month already!” he grumbled to himself.  “If the keep this up, I’ll need another shipment of chests.”  He slammed the door behind him, leaving the trap reset for the next adventurous hero who wanted to defeat his empress.

4. Shooting is *not* too good for my enemies.

     “But it was supposed to be inescapable!”
     “It was. It is,” protested the engineer.
     “Then explain to me where he went!” barked the empress. “I...I...” At his stuttering, the woman growled disgustedly. The maze was supposed to be inescapable. She’d overseen the construction herself. If she hadn’t been so set on watching Viper, a famous assassin from the Eastern Coast, die slowly of starvation and dehydration, this would’ve never happened.
     “Empress! The entire palace has been searched, and the Viper is nowhere to be found,” reported a guardsman, running up to the Empress and bowing low.
     “Order messenger hawks sent to the local townships in the area and notify every patrol in the entire region,” said the Empress after a pause. “Put everyone on high alert. Let it be know that the Viper is to be shot on sight. The body is to be delivered to the palace.”
     “As you command, Your Imperial Majesty.”
     “And have the palace and the grounds searched once more before you unseal the gates, just in case he was missed the first time,” she added as he turned to go.
     “As you command, Your Imperial Majesty.”
     “I do not intend to let him get away again.”