Sunday, November 9, 2014

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.

      Empress Adrienna cringed as the invaders flung her into a corner. With her hands chained behind her, she couldn’t protect her face very well, and she struck her forehead with a thump. She turned to watch the two men, noting the gun that stayed unwaveringly pointed at her head. They’d needed her to bypass the biometric security, but now had no more reason to keep her alive, so she remained silent and unobtrusive.
      “Where’s the off switch?” asked the first man, scanning the console that controlled her new solar cannon, a weapon whose destructive capabilities exceeded anything else known to man. “It’s firing every 30 seconds...” A resounding boom echoed around the room as the cannon shot off another round of plasma at the mountain. The plasma was slowly eating through the solid rock, but needed more time to reach the caves where the Empress’ enemies hid.
      “Quick!” said the first. “Blow it up!”
      “What about her?” asked the second man.
      “Leave her,” said the leader cruelly. He looked over at the woman who still crouched on the floor. “Goodbye Empress,” he said. “I hope you burn.” She remained silent and immovable, watching as he flipped up the glass case and pressed the button. A spray of bullets erupted from the console, shredding them. They died instantly.
      The Empress smiled as the cannon continued to fire.